Pants of Fire: Rule no 324 of Mommyhood: Some lies are OK!

Lies are an essential part of being a Mommy. No matter how hard you try or how much you tell yourself that you will be 100% truthful with your child, you end up lying. Not cold calculated lies but little white lies to make your life simpler. No matter how careful you are, you slip. Its one of the rules to mothehood. You lie and its OK!

Here is my list of blatant white lies I’ve knows to say without so much as a twitch in my face,

If you don’t finish your food, Peppa Pig will be so sad. Peppa Pig is a cartoon. Pegga Pig knows only what the cartoonist/animator wants her to know. Z can skip all the lunches in the world and Peppa will not know. She just won’t care.

When you sleep you grow bigger. I don’t know. I have no documented proof of this. But I do know that when he sleeps, my sanity is restored albeit briefly.

You are hurting me. Z can try all he wants but that little hands cannot hurt me. I am physically bigger and stronger but when he starts to raise his hands at me, I know I have to stem it before it spills over to his friends, and always a Z, you are hurting me does the trick. That is his freeze line. I can say that and he will drop what he does.

We are all out of TV. Z tends to get carried away watching TV. I give him limited TV time each day but he does everything in his powers to stretch the minutes. Simply switching off the TV might bring on a full on tantrum and so I have to discreetly change the channel first to a blank screen and then throw my hands in the air and dramatically exclaim, “I think we are all out of TV”. That he accepts.

Hmmmm..Yummy (accompanied by a pat on the tummy) Spinach puree as for that matter, veggie purees are NEVER yum. Never!

Daddy will be back in 5 minutes. Daddy never is. Daddy goes to work ahead of us on most mornings and so excusing Daddy for a quick 5 minute outing is the only way to prevent a full on tear explosion.

No! Cockroaches bite. Ok, I know I am being mean here but I hate those little creatures and he loves them. This way, I am hoping he wont bring one into the house.

and rounding up the list, something I heard quite often growing up but haven’t yet used on Z.

Salt makes you stupid. When I was little, I had great affinity for salt. Mr Salt shaker and I used to disappear under tables, under the bed, inside the closet, under covers etc where I used to feast on his saltiness. When my Mum found about this, she ruined my relationship by telling me about the kid who was very very smart when she was born but became increasingly stupid by the minute because she used to sneak off everywhere and eat salt. Needless to say, it put the brakes on our passionate relationship.

I don’t know how many so called ‘parenting rules’, I’ve broken as a result of these above mentioned lies but it sure does restore peace and harmony in my household.

15 thoughts on “Pants of Fire: Rule no 324 of Mommyhood: Some lies are OK!

  1. Pingback: THE LIES WE TELL OURSELVES | hastywords

    • Thanks! I know..If there is way they think I have control over something, they will plead, scream and throw a good ol tantrum for it but when I pass on the blame to the powers beyond, they accept it without so much of a whimper.

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  3. I can really relate to this..Here are a few more of mine: “If you don’t finish your food your tummy will make sounds and you’ll get up at night!”, “If you cry/scream your pet fish will become sad/scared”, “Wake up now, Mater wants to play with you!”

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  7. That is hysterical. Especially the one about salt! I used to tell my daughter there was an alligator in her nose so she wouldn’t pick it. I may need to borrow your idea and post about some of the ridiculous lies I used to tell 😉

    • Thanks, I’m glad you liked it. The alligator in the nose idea is hilarious but I dare not try it with Z, lest he demands to see it and a tantrum ensues if I cannot show it to him. I tell you, I walk like on a mine field around him. Anything to avoid a tantrum. *Sigh*

  8. I personally would not do the salt one. I have known children that know it is not real, yet internalize it, when told something like that. I would myself use the approach ‘salt is made to be eaten on something, let’s fnd something to eat it with’. Why? Salt eating can mean a deficiency in iodine or sodium, or low blood pressure. I learned his while growing up because I constantly wanted salt. I got to eating salt foods, though, so the oddest part with me was when I woulod eat salt on crispy bacon. I still do, sometimes, and when I feel signs of low bloos pressure have occassionally simply grabbed a salt packet from a fast food place, and downed it with water.

    • Thanks! I dunno if growing up I was deficient in iodine but I had a crazy affinity for salt. I don’t think I will have to use it on Z cause he has made no attempts to even taste it, yet.

      • It could have been worse. Some vitamin/mineral deficiencies are realized when two year olds start eating their own feces….
        It does happen, and is not only a sign of autism. Iron deficiency and glandular imbalances such as thyroid problems can be the cause.

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