I am a coward. I can never take bold decisions. I might stand up for a lot of things, give it right back to bullies and is generally considered as a person who can fend for herself but when it comes to life decisions I am a coward. On the other hand, my friends all seem so brave. I could never just pick my bags up and migrate to a different country. Not without a job in hand or some financial security.I could never just go and decide to ‘wing it’. But my friend did when one fine day she and her husband packed their bags and moved to New Zealand with nothing more than some money for rent in their pocket. The risk paid out cause they are leading an amazing life there and with great jobs they love.

Also, I could never just quit my job, my career and jump headlong to follow my passion. I worry too much. However, my less worried friend had no qualms it. He left his extremely lucrative IT career and jumped to follow his passion of being a teacher at kindergarten and what do you know, he is loving life more than ever.

And then recently another one of my friends did something I could never fathom doing. I could never meet someone online, fall madly in love and decide to get married without even having met them. But obviously it is possible and it is done, cause my friend just did it. He met this amazing woman online and fell in love with her and they felt so good about their relationship that they got married. They did not even need to meet before they made the decision. It felt right and they went with it. Their wedding was beautiful. It was an awesome medley of cultures and traditions. It also the establishing of several new ones but as they got married all I could think off and applaud was their courage. Their courage to follow their heart. Their courage to trust and their courage to jump headlong into what they thought was best. Where does this drive to follow your heart come from? Or is it one of those things that you do cause you know its the right thing to do?

I want to do it too. Listen to my heart and ignore my logical mind but apparently it looks like my mind rules my heart cause its always my mind who gets the last word in. Am I getting old?

Forget life changing decisions, I’ve not done impulsive in a while either. I’ve not gone for a midnight walk to the ice cream shop in ages. I’ve not jumped into a pool completely clothed cause I felt like it, in forever. I cannot remember the last time I had a crazy girl’s night out and I’ve forgotten the last time I drove to a new town and explored it.

After the wedding last week, I wonder if I am playing it too safe. If I have settled for the routine. When people are risking migrations to foreign lands and exotic weddings, my big risk seems to making avocado sauce for Z’s pasta, knowing he hates avocados. Not very impulsive now is it?

I gotta shake it up. I gotta make life count. What about you?

15 thoughts on “Making life count

  1. Do you think you could move to a different country, change careers at the drop of a hat if you knew you had the money to do so? I think most of us would like the fantasy of going off and doing random things, living life on a whim if we knew we had some sort of security.

    Oh and you should go on impulsive ice cream trips at night…they’re the best ๐Ÿ™‚ Hope you’re doing well Nenne!

    Rakhi, xx

    • I would. If financial security was an element I did not have to be worried bout then of course, I’d move countries, change careers, follow my passion etc. I would be impulsive for impulsive sake cause I could rest knowing my finances are secure.

      And ya, I miss the midnight ice creams. Used to be a regularity back at uni, 5 years ago. Now it’s all snores and grunts at midnight, not ice creams..:(

  2. it was already mentioned here – the truth is, the grass is greener somewhere else. However, the point of your own entry is as clear as it might get. When the right time comes, you will not have to be brave. It will feel so easy, so natural, so right.

    You envy something that is not your path. How many little changes have you done in your life? Changes like choosing a new dish soap because you did a research and found something that will work better? Buying a different brand of fruit because you found out that apples you have been eating are genetically modified?

    What’s my point? The point is – when you make that leap it doesn’t feel like something huge, something terrific, something brave. It feels like any other choice – something that you have to do and that is just normal.

    The feeling comes within and it doesnโ€™t announce itself as a life changing event, it comes as a natural progression, as something you do not even have to think about.

    If you ask your friends how they see you, you might be surprised by their answers. They might say that you are the bravest person they have ever known and that you are their inspiration. Things you take for granted and do just because, might seem nothing to you and unreachable for them.

    • So true! I did not think it that way. Perhaps my decision to have a baby might have come across as life changing to them while to me, it just felt right. I did not think this from the angle you suggested. Thanks! You make me feel so much better..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s