Aside
15

I am a coward. I can never take bold decisions. I might stand up for a lot of things, give it right back to bullies and is generally considered as a person who can fend for herself but when it comes to life decisions I am a coward. On the other hand, my friends all seem so brave. I could never just pick my bags up and migrate to a different country. Not without a job in hand or some financial security.I could never just go and decide to ‘wing it’. But my friend did when one fine day she and her husband packed their bags and moved to New Zealand with nothing more than some money for rent in their pocket. The risk paid out cause they are leading an amazing life there and with great jobs they love.

Also, I could never just quit my job, my career and jump headlong to follow my passion. I worry too much. However, my less worried friend had no qualms it. He left his extremely lucrative IT career and jumped to follow his passion of being a teacher at kindergarten and what do you know, he is loving life more than ever.

And then recently another one of my friends did something I could never fathom doing. I could never meet someone online, fall madly in love and decide to get married without even having met them. But obviously it is possible and it is done, cause my friend just did it. He met this amazing woman online and fell in love with her and they felt so good about their relationship that they got married. They did not even need to meet before they made the decision. It felt right and they went with it. Their wedding was beautiful. It was an awesome medley of cultures and traditions. It also the establishing of several new ones but as they got married all I could think off and applaud was their courage. Their courage to follow their heart. Their courage to trust and their courage to jump headlong into what they thought was best. Where does this drive to follow your heart come from? Or is it one of those things that you do cause you know its the right thing to do?

I want to do it too. Listen to my heart and ignore my logical mind but apparently it looks like my mind rules my heart cause its always my mind who gets the last word in. Am I getting old?

Forget life changing decisions, I’ve not done impulsive in a while either. I’ve not gone for a midnight walk to the ice cream shop in ages. I’ve not jumped into a pool completely clothed cause I felt like it, in forever. I cannot remember the last time I had a crazy girl’s night out and I’ve forgotten the last time I drove to a new town and explored it.

After the wedding last week, I wonder if I am playing it too safe. If I have settled for the routine. When people are risking migrations to foreign lands and exotic weddings, my big risk seems to making avocado sauce for Z’s pasta, knowing he hates avocados. Not very impulsive now is it?

I gotta shake it up. I gotta make life count. What about you?

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